The Art of Eavesdropping
by Ms Western Ink
Summary: Cliche, Nanao inadvertently listens outside her Captain's door... but he isn't being quiet about it.


The Art of Eavesdropping

1 of 1

* * *

_"Thunk, thunk, THUNK."_

Nanao shook her head. She didn't have time to analyze the weird noises coming from across the hall. Maybe she'd misheard the odd sounds anyway. Or thumps as they were, what had caused them was really none of her business. Perhaps, even, she had been listening to her instrumentals too loud last night and hadn't heard the sounds at all; she had gotten rather enthused over the second movement of Webb's "Dance of the Butterfly". It remained one of her favorite musicals of all time.

To add to that her day was going poorly. She'd come in to find several items of furniture were broken from a fight the previous evening. The source of which she could not determine, nor had she been able to find the responsible persons. Plus she had the unfortunate task of calculating uniform repair costs which had been going up for reasons she had not yet ascertained. A new Division One policy on uniform dispersal and repair was causing ripples in more than just her Division.

_"NO! Don't squeeze it!"_

She took a glance at her clock. It was just past three in the afternoon. No doubt her Captain had come in and she'd missed it. Occasionally he did forgo announcing his presence and went without stretching languidly in her doorway and drawing her name in that overly familiar manner of his…

Actually, she thought, pausing in her work, he had probably come in from the back entrance. He usually did so when he wished to avoid her. He obviously had female company if the outraged shriek had been any indication. She looked back at her column of numbers, wondering if she should close her door. It was the first such outburst she'd heard after such suspicious thumping. Maybe he would leave. Maybe he would take his company with him. She thought hard, biting her lip. His company had better not be a Division Eight member, she thought heatedly.

Besides, he wouldn't really be doing _that_ in his office would he? Right across the hall from her? That LOUDLY? No, not even he was that uncouth.

_"Why don't you feel it and find out?"_

She blinked. Or was he? Some things really shouldn't be said so loudly. How dare he invade her working space with… that. He had no respect for the rest of them. How was she supposed to keep the office running with him being ridiculous all the time?

Standing, she sat her brush aside propping it very carefully upon her brush stand before walking to the door. Peering left and then right, she reached for the door handle prepared to shut it leaving the disturbing tidbits from the other side of the hallway out. She didn't see anyone else. Was the office empty or were they all just gathered in the kitchen, the room next to the Captain's office, eavesdropping and laughing? Should she go check or leave them to their amusement?

_"It's so big! You didn't tell me it was that big. No, I really don't think I can do this..."_

A chorus of snickers, carefully lowered floated down the hall toward her ears. So then they all were gathered in the kitchen listening. Really, was this any of her business? Her eyebrow twitched. It wasn't as if he was respecting either his privacy or anyone else's, should she intervene? At least no throaty moans were drifting out of there.

_"Gimme your pants! Hurry!"_

With an impatient huff, Nanao stalked toward his office and threw open the door. The sight that met her was two heads popping up in surprise from behind the desk. A buxom blonde, currently bent over the desk, fully clothed, smiled widely at Nanao.

"Nanao-chan! Throw me a towel, its spilling everywhere!"

The stoic Vice-Captain assessed the situation. Matsumoto was on one side of the desk, a large broken sake bottle was on one end, her Captain was now on the opposite side of the desk and liquid was dripping all over the floor.

Nanao made no move to assist Matsumoto as she tried vainly to sop up the alcohol and only succeeded in soaking more and more of her top. The sodden material was clinging to her chest. Captain Kyouraku noticed and seemed pleased enough at the distraction not moving a fraction to assist the beleaguered lady trying to prevent more spillage. Nanao rubbed the bridge of her nose feeling an ache beginning to build at her temples.

"If I hear one more kinky innuendo, I won't be held responsible for my actions!" she hissed at the pair.

Her Captain, ever an opportunist, looked up with eager eyes. "Is that a promise?"

She didn't want to deal with him today. "GET OUT!" she snarled.

The pair wasted barely half a second in fleeing leaving a mess on the floor and a distracted staff behind. Nanao wondered if she should be grateful. At least nothing was broken. She heaved a sigh, taking careful note of the fact that he'd moved his paperwork toward the wall and away from his desk. For once, the annoying habit made her glad. It meant all that had to be done was cleaning up the alcohol.

When she managed to return to her desk and her column of numbers the silence of the place eased her strained nerves. Hopefully they would pop over to another division and bug someone else for a few hours. At the very least it would keep her and everyone else focused on work.

-End.


End file.
